S.O.B.E.R.
The reality is that sobriety is hard. One day in treatment, we walked into a group therapy session and my counselor wrote this on the board: S.O.B.E.R. Then, he asked if any of us knew what it stood for. After a few half-ass guesses, he gave us the answer. . . .
Shame is a Killer
In light of the recent murders at Atlanta-area spas by a self-professed sex addict, a dialogue has begun in the media and elsewhere about sexual addiction. While we do want to detract from the other important conversation happening about violence towards and the sexualization/victimization of the Asian community, we wanted to pass along an excellent blog post from Marnie Feree, the Founder and Director of Bethesda Workshops. . . .
Connection is the Cure
In his excellent book on addiction, Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs, Johann Hari describes a set of scientific experiments performed in the late 1970s and 1980s that have come to be known as “Rat Park.” . . .
It Is NOT About the Sex
One of the jarring things about early recovery was how often people wanted to talk about my feelings. First of all, my wife and kids were in a different state, my employer was threatening to fire me, and I had been very publicly humiliated—how did people think I was feeling!? The only way I could describe my feelings at the time was “shitty,” but apparently that isn’t on the feelings wheel. . .
Get In A Group
When your brain is the problem, your thoughts become like a Chinese finger trap. The more you try to think your way out, the more stuck you become. There is only one way out of this conundrum: get into a group. . .
Welcome to FTP
In the Bible, the Israelites lived in bondage and slavery in Egypt. Then, God showed up, turned their world upside down, and set them free. Freedom, however, did not look like what they hoped—first they had to journey into the wilderness. . . .
Where Should I Begin?
If you’re finding yourself in the wilderness, just now realizing you need to get sober or for the first time earnestly intending to get sober, then you likely feel overwhelmed. In those first few weeks, I was in a fog (and, to be honest, that fog lasted for several months). I needed others to guide me, to tell me what to do. . .